25 March 2009

KISMET

NOTE: I wrote this three years ago (July 2006, to be exact) and I stumbled upon it while cleaning up our hard drives. This is kinda long but if you like out-of-this-world love stories (though this is exactly NOT a love story, hehe) then you might enjoy this one ^_^ Copyright to Melissa Solito (C) 2006-2009.

Some things are meant to be. Some persons, no matter the time and distance, are destined to be together. There is that childhood sweetheart you lost, and amazingly, you met again and the spark was still there. Love is lovelier the second time around, as they say. Then there is that bestfriend you loved for so long but you never had the courage to express your feelings. That is, until you got drunk and spilled it all out – and incredibly, s/he loves you too! And then there is that ordinary person who you realized was your soulmate while you were hanging out together. You were talking to each other and there was something in his/her eyes that time, something that drew you in. You looked deeply and s/he does the same. Some alarm went off in both your souls’ deep recesses, and then both pair of eyes began talking in that secret language they only knew.. 
“Remember me? We’ve met before, in the hot dunes near the Sphinx. Then again by the cobblestones in front Caesar’s palace and also while we were riding one of Venice’s famous gondolas..”

“Yes, yes, I do remember you. We made ardent love by the river grasses of Nile and you proposed to me under the Duomo’s magnificent shadow. Where have you been all these decades?”

“I don’t know, all I know is I’ve been searching for you. Many of my lifetimes have been empty and meaningless without you. I have been restless but now I am home once again. Oh, how I loved you then! And now.”

“Oh yes, your love for me was one of a kind. Timeless, boundless, and despite the…”
But then the eyes, the windows of our souls, shifted; the connection was broken. Two persons were left staring at each other, somewhat confused of what transpired. But did something really happen? Did the soulmates, through the eyes, recognize each other? I have been wondering about it ever since. You see, I was the one who looked deeply into his eyes first. I felt the warmth of love embracing me while the “eyes/souls” were communicating. Every fiber and molecule of my being was connected to him in every level, yet I was also lost in the vastness of his being. I was startled, I was electrified, I was changed. I am now bonded to him irrevocably in this lifetime. And when our connection was lost, it felt as if I was freeze-dried. I was dazed, disoriented; I felt abandoned and lost. I crave to be connected to him once again, but he was looking away. Was he as perplexed and forlorn as me? Was he even aware of our souls’ momentary union?


Two years after the incident, I still do not know if he sensed our connection. I don’t have the courage to ask him because I fear that he will not remember it. Which will hurt me a lot for it is the only magical, ethereal thing that ever happened to me, and he didn’t even felt it? Ugh! That will certainly sting so badly. What transpired between us or within me is a once in a lifetime event. It is a rare occurrence for souls to recognize each other while in “human shells”. And for the “shell” to be aware that there’s an old soul within him and that his soul has made contact with another soul, well, that’s even more rare. The Philippines’ very own paranormal expert Jaime Licauco (oh come on, you don’t know him??) has a term for this soul recognition event. If I remember it right, he recently wrote about it in his Inquirer column. But whatever its name is, I know I’ll cherish our ephemeral soul connection for all eternity. We are meant to be.

And you ask, what happened next? Well, we became closer (we were good friends then), to the point of finishing each other’s sentences, understanding each other’s moods with a mere glance and texting the same things at the same exact time! This happened countless times and even occurs until now. We are like couples married for a long time. But we certainly are not married nor are lovers, at least not in this lifetime. Or maybe not just yet. Hehe! Naughty, naughty! And then there are also several instances when we meet at unlikely places, opening the doors of that place at precisely the same time, both of us pleasantly stunned at seeing each other. KISMET, I say! But the rational-you says I’m reading too much into these situations, that these are just coincidences. Probably. But I doubt it. I am a realist; I know things like these don’t happen. But it did – to me, to him (I hope!). And this is not the superficial crush-kilig connection type wherein you say “OMG! We’re so mfeo talaga, we rode in the same jeepney na naman!” By the way, mfeo stands for “made for each other”.

And you know what’s the distressing thing? I do not know what to do with what I know, with what we have. We share a very special bond, so what? Do I tell him and risk his ridicule? Do I keep quiet and miss out on life’s exquisite rare miracles? Do I just find somebody else to make me happy and forget him? Do soulmates even exist?? Damn our connection thingy (or perhaps my over-imaginative brain), it made my life complicated! I could do without it, thank you. Or could I? There is no end to this torment until one of us breaks and will profess everlasting love. Will it be me? Will it be him? Is love and being soulmates tied up together? Do I even love him? Too many questions! With no answers, unfortunately. If only I could look deep into his mesmerizing eyes again, and he into mine.. Eternal passion, undying ardor, infinite bliss! Yes, we definitely, are meant to be.

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KISMET is one of my favorite words. It sounds so out of this world, much like this article. If you don’t know its meaning, google it. You’d be surprised at the delightful links that will pop out. For those who are wondering if this article is a true story or a tall tale, 10 words: truth is stranger than fiction! And that art imitates life. Satisfied? I think not! ;p For those who experienced soul recognition or is interested in soulmates and the paranormal, I would love to hear from you! There is so much we do not know of our world, and I think it’s just right to start discovering first what is inside of us. Yup, I’m talking about learning everything we can about our very essence – our souls. A tall order? Definitely! But not as tall as the tale I’ve just told you! Hehe!
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